Hold Me
by Infinite Katalyst
Summary: "What if...?" makes it a little difficult for Tenten to focus on what is.


Tenten kept seeing it. A vision of the Ten-Tails slicing through his body with a powerful branch, a pinpoint attack that was meant for Naruto but was intercepted by Neji instead.

He was impaled and fell to the ground, blood pooling from the empty hole in the middle of his chest. He saw her and feebly held his hand out to her with the last of his strength, but she was too far away. She raced toward him, even though she knew she wouldn't get to him in time. The blood drained from her face, a pit formed in her stomach, and her heart ached as she watched the life leave his body before she even reached him.

Hinata screamed, and Naruto was filled with a new rage that fueled him as he fought to destroy the Ten-Tails. Lee was suddenly at Neji's side, holding his body and weeping over it. Tenten was too shocked to believe any of it was really happening, like it was all a horrible nightmare, like if she pinched herself, she would wake up and it would all be over. But she knew that wasn't the case, and all she could do was stare at the body of the man she loved. She was too stunned to cry, or react, or do anything other than stand stiffly where she was.

Tenten suddenly felt so lost. The man she was teammates with, went on missions with, trained and sparred with, and fell in love with, was now dead. They wanted to get married. They wanted to have kids. He wasn't just her best friend, her boyfriend, and her role model. He was her everything. And he was the only one she ever wanted.

After the war, there was a funeral for Neji, just like the funerals that were held for many of the others that died. Tenten almost didn't attend it, afraid that it would fill her with so much new grief while she still hadn't processed all of the initial grief. But she did attend it. She felt like she owed it to him and herself to say goodbye, since she never had the chance on the battlefield. More importantly, she needed to see him one more time. She gave a eulogy after everyone had said what they needed to say.

"Neji Hyuuga was one of the best people I've ever had the honor of knowing. He was wise, strong, and intelligent. He always had my back, on and off the battlefield. I loved him, and I looked forward to becoming part of his family. Unfortunately," her lip trembled, "I won't get that chance. I miss him very much. His death has been so hard for me to deal with, but I know it must be so much worse for his family. I wish everyday that I could have him back, but that's selfish, because I wasn't the only one who loved and misses him. We all cared for him, and he'll always be with us until we're with him. To Neji."

"To Neji," everyone repeated.

She watched as his coffin was lowered into the ground. Tears spilled out of her eyes. She said her goodbye, but she wasn't ready to. People started to leave by then, and she was about to do the same when a hand rested on her shoulder. She turned around to face Hinata.

"For what it's worth, we'll always consider you part of the family." Tenten smiled through her tears and hugged her tightly.

Some time after the funeral, Tenten visited his grave. She brought flowers, and sat near his tombstone.

"Oh, Neji. Nothing's the same without you. Team Gai is broken, the Rookie 11 is broken...I'm broken. I miss you so much. There's nothing I wouldn't do just to feel you hold me one more time. I love you. So, so much."

Coming back to reality, Tenten blinked, trying to make it stop. Once, twice, and it finally faded away. Lifting a shaky hand to her face, she wiped away a few stray tears. A cold feeling came over her, weighing her down. She sighed and slumped against the wall. These recurring daydreams always left her feeling tired, emotionally and physically. She hated watching them play out over and over again in her head with each passing day. Normally they didn't get as far as visiting his grave, but she couldn't help it. She imagined that's what her life would be like if Naruto hadn't pushed Neji and Hinata out of the way, saving all three of them, right before that attack struck. If Naruto hadn't, he would've been gone. One second more, and just like that, Neji would've become nothing more than a memory. If Naruto hadn't, she didn't think she would love anyone else, and devote herself to work instead.

"Something wrong?" Neji asked, entering the room and peering at her.

"No. Well, yeah," Tenten said, staring up at him.

"You're not thinking about it again, are you?"

"Yeah...I can't get over it. If it had happened..."

"The important thing is that it didn't. I'm right here with you, aren't I?"

"I know. I just can't picture my life without you. I don't want to picture my life without you."

He smiled, pulled her to her feet, and held her close. They stayed like that for several minutes.

"Never let me go," Tenten said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

"Never ever."

Whenever Tenten had another one of those awful daydreams after that, she would wrap her arms around Neji, reassuring herself that he was alive and well. Eventually, she stopped having them altogether. Then one day, she became Mrs. Tenten Hyuuga, and not too long after that, they became the parents of a son, followed by a daughter later on.

So, Neji held Tenten, and he truly never let her go.


End file.
